Aliquasexual

Key Features

• Aliquasexual refers to individuals who experience sexual attraction only under specific circumstances, such as being in a particular setting, mood, or connecting with a specific type of person.

• It is an ace-spec identity that can encompass other orientations, like demisexuality, or stand alone as a unique experience.

• This orientation challenges conventional ideas about sexual attraction being frequent, spontaneous, or universal, highlighting the diversity and individuality of human sexuality.

• Aliquasexual individuals may face challenges like misunderstanding, lack of representation, and difficulty navigating relationships, but increased education and awareness can foster inclusion and acceptance.

Context

Conditional Sexual Attraction

Aliquasexual individuals experience sexual attraction only under certain predefined or situational conditions. The triggers for this attraction may be specific and unique to each person, such as being in a particular mood, environment, or connection.

Example: Someone who identifies as aliquasexual might feel sexual attraction only when they are in a place that makes them feel completely comfortable, like their home, or only when connecting deeply with a specific personality type.

An Umbrella Term in the Ace Spectrum

Aliquasexuality can encompass other ace-spec identities, such as demisexual (experiencing attraction only after forming a strong emotional bond) or fraysexual (experiencing attraction that fades over time). However, aliquasexual can also be a standalone identity for those who feel sexual attraction in highly specific, individualized ways.

Example: A demisexual person would fall under the aliquasexual umbrella because they feel attraction only under emotional connection. At the same time, someone might be aliquasexual without identifying as demisexual if their attraction depends solely on situational factors, like the time of day or physical location.

Diverse and Personalized Triggers

Aliquasexual attraction is defined by individualized circumstances that make it highly personal and unique to each person. These triggers might include:

• Specific types of individuals or traits (e.g., appearance, personality, energy).

• Certain environments or settings (e.g., at a party, in nature).

• Emotional or temporal states (e.g., feeling at peace, during a specific time of the year).

Example: An aliquasexual person may only feel attraction toward someone who shares a niche hobby or passion with them, or they might only feel attraction during the autumn season when they feel most themselves.

Aliquasexual vs. Related Identities

• Demisexual: A demisexual individual only experiences sexual attraction after forming a strong emotional bond, whereas aliquasexual individuals might experience attraction based on other types of triggers, not solely emotional bonds.

• Graysexual: Graysexual individuals experience sexual attraction infrequently or under limited circumstances, which may overlap with aliquasexuality. However, aliquasexuality emphasizes specific conditions rather than a general rarity of attraction.

• Asexual: While asexual individuals typically experience no sexual attraction, aliquasexual individuals do experience attraction, but only under certain conditions.

• Fraysexual: A fraysexual person might feel attraction initially but lose it after forming a bond, whereas an aliquasexual person may feel attraction only under specific or recurring conditions.

Example: An aliquasexual person might find their attraction activated by a shared love for a particular movie or music genre, which wouldn’t align with demisexuality’s focus on emotional connection or graysexuality’s focus on rarity.

Cultural Relevance

Expanding the Ace Spectrum

Aliquasexuality adds complexity and diversity to the ace spectrum, helping to highlight the wide range of ways people can experience sexual attraction. This identity challenges binary ideas of being “sexual” or “asexual” by showing that attraction can depend on highly specific factors. It reinforces the idea that sexual attraction is not a universal or fixed experience and can be shaped by unique circumstances.

Example: Recognizing aliquasexuality helps normalize that sexual attraction isn’t an “all-or-nothing” experience and can depend on factors that are deeply personal to each individual.

Challenging Allonormativity

Aliquasexuality challenges allonormativity, which assumes that everyone experiences consistent and spontaneous sexual attraction. Aliquasexual individuals often feel out of sync with allonormative expectations of frequent, generalized attraction and sexual engagement. By acknowledging aliquasexuality, society can better understand and support people whose experiences of attraction differ from the norm.

Example: An aliquasexual person might not feel sexual attraction in traditional dating scenarios but could feel attraction when they are in a familiar and comforting setting.

Validating Diverse Experiences

By recognizing aliquasexuality, we validate those whose sexual attractions don’t fit conventional or mainstream patterns. It emphasizes the importance of creating space for individualized experiences of attraction, showing that there is no “right” way to feel or express sexual desire. Aliquasexuality highlights how attraction can be tied to conditions like mutual understanding, trust, or even seemingly random triggers.

Example: An aliquasexual individual may only feel attraction toward someone who respects their boundaries or shares a specific worldview, demonstrating how attraction can depend on deeply personal factors.

Challenges Faced by Aliquasexual Individuals

• Misunderstanding and Stereotypes: Aliquasexuality can be misunderstood as “indecisiveness” or “being picky,” which invalidates the specific and personal nature of the identity. Society’s assumption that attraction must occur frequently or universally can marginalize aliquasexual individuals.

• Lack of Representation: Aliquasexual experiences are underrepresented in media and discussions about sexuality, leading to a lack of awareness and understanding. This can cause feelings of isolation for those who identify as aliquasexual and struggle to find others who share or understand their experiences.

• Difficulty Navigating Relationships: The specific conditions under which aliquasexual individuals feel attraction may make it harder to navigate relationships in cultures that value spontaneity or universal attraction. Partners or potential partners may not understand or respect the conditional nature of their attraction.