How to Be an Ally to Bisexual People: Tips for Supporting Bi+ Friends and Loved Ones

Being an ally to bisexual individuals is not just about standing in solidarity - it’s about taking meaningful action to help create a world where bisexual people feel valued, seen, and safe. This month, as we observe Bisexual Health Awareness Month, it’s the perfect time to reflect on the unique struggles that bisexual individuals face, both in terms of health and everyday life, and how we can work together to address them.

Bisexual individuals often find themselves at the intersection of multiple identities and experiences, which can sometimes lead to misunderstandings or erasure. From biphobia within both straight and LGBTQIA+ communities to stigmatization around their relationships and sexual health, the challenges can feel isolating. It’s crucial to recognize that these struggles often extend beyond mere misconceptions - bisexual people can face health disparities, mental health challenges, and discrimination that uniquely impact their lives.

This blog offers a comprehensive guide on how to be a supportive ally to bisexual people, highlighting practical tips and insights that can make a real difference. Whether you’re a family member, a friend, or someone who cares deeply about their well-being, there are many ways to show up for bisexual individuals and create an environment that’s affirming, inclusive, and free from discrimination.

Being a supportive ally isn’t just about offering empathy - it’s about taking proactive steps to dismantle harmful stereotypes, challenge biphobia, and advocate for bisexual individuals' health and rights. By actively showing up and providing support, we can create a world where bisexual people can thrive, live authentically, and embrace their full identity without fear of rejection or prejudice.

Understanding Bisexuality: What Does It Mean?

To be a supportive ally to bisexual individuals, it’s important to first understand what bisexuality truly means. At its core, bisexuality is the attraction to more than one gender - emotionally, physically, or sexually. A bisexual person may be attracted to both men and women, or they may experience attraction to non-binary individuals as well. This broad definition highlights the fluidity and diversity of bisexual experiences.

But bisexuality isn’t a one-size-fits-all label. It exists on a spectrum, with each bisexual person experiencing their attraction in unique ways. Some people may be equally attracted to all genders, while others may feel more strongly towards one gender than another. These experiences can change over time, and that's okay - bisexuality is as individual as the people who identify with it.

It's essential to remember that bisexuality is a valid, legitimate sexual orientation. Unfortunately, it’s often misunderstood, dismissed, or even invalidated, both within and outside the LGBTQIA+ community. This erasure, coupled with harmful stereotypes like "confusion" or "insecurity," can make it harder for bisexual individuals to feel accepted and seen.

As allies, recognizing bisexuality as a legitimate sexual orientation is key. Bisexual people deserve the same respect, recognition, and understanding that anyone else with a sexual orientation receives. Their identities are valid, and their experiences are just as worthy of validation as those of any other person in the LGBTQIA+ community.

Why Do Bisexual People Need Allies?

Despite the growing visibility and awareness of LGBTQIA+ identities, bisexual individuals continue to face unique challenges that are often overlooked or misunderstood. Erasure, stigma, and discrimination are pervasive, and many bisexual people find themselves constantly battling harmful assumptions about their sexuality.

One of the most harmful misconceptions about bisexuality is that it’s a “phase” or that bisexual individuals are “confused” or “indecisive.” These stereotypes not only undermine the validity of bisexuality as a sexual orientation but also contribute to biphobia, both within the LGBTQIA+ community and in the broader society. For example, bisexual people are sometimes dismissed as not “gay enough” or “straight enough,” leading to feelings of invisibility and isolation.

Bisexual individuals also face unique challenges in their relationships, where their sexual orientation can be misunderstood or questioned. For example, those in heterosexual relationships may be told that they are “just going through a phase” or that they “aren’t really bisexual” if they are not currently involved with someone of the same sex. On the other hand, bisexual individuals in same-sex relationships might encounter doubts about their “true” identity or have their sexuality invalidated by people who believe that being in a same-sex relationship means they must be gay or lesbian.

These struggles are further compounded by the lack of affirming spaces, mental health support, and education around bisexuality, leaving many feeling alone and misunderstood.

Being an ally to bisexual people is about more than simply offering support - it’s about advocating for their rights, standing up against harmful stereotypes, and helping to create spaces where bisexual people can live authentically without fear of judgment or invalidation. Allies play a crucial role in challenging biphobia, promoting visibility, and ensuring that bisexual people have the support and understanding they need to thrive.

Practical Tips for Being a Supportive Ally to Bisexual People

Being an ally to bisexual people goes beyond just understanding their identity - it’s about actively supporting and affirming them in their daily lives. Here are some practical and actionable tips on how to be a strong, supportive ally to your bi+ friends, family members, and loved ones:

Challenge Biphobia and Stereotypes

Biphobia is the prejudice and discrimination directed at bisexual individuals, and it can take many forms. This might include erasure (ignoring or dismissing someone’s bisexuality), harmful stereotypes (like assuming bisexual people are promiscuous or untrustworthy), or even invalidating someone’s identity (e.g., saying someone is “just confused”).

One of the most important things you can do as an ally is to actively challenge biphobia whenever you encounter it. Whether in casual conversations, online, or even in your social circles, it’s crucial to call out comments that perpetuate harmful stereotypes about bisexuality. Educating others can have a profound impact on reducing ignorance.

For example, if someone says, “Bisexuality is just a phase,” a helpful response might be: “Actually, bisexuality is a valid, longstanding sexual orientation, and many people are attracted to more than one gender for their entire lives. It’s not a phase, it’s part of who they are.” This helps debunk myths and normalize bisexuality.

Respect Their Identity and Experience

Every bisexual person’s journey with their sexuality is unique, and it’s important to respect their individual experience. Some might feel comfortable being open about their bisexuality, while others may prefer to keep it private. That’s perfectly okay. It’s essential to respect how they choose to express their identity and never pressure anyone to disclose more than they are ready or willing to share.

If your friend or loved one identifies as bi+, it’s crucial to validate their identity, no matter how they define it. If they prefer not to use labels or choose not to identify as bisexual, that’s also valid. The key is to be supportive and respectful of their choices, allowing them to define their own identity on their terms.

Be Mindful of Your Language

Language can be a powerful tool in fostering inclusivity. When speaking about bisexual people or bisexuality in general, being mindful of your language shows respect and understanding. It’s important to avoid assumptions or labels about someone’s relationships or attractions. For example, don’t assume that a bisexual person is automatically in a relationship with someone of a particular gender based on their sexual orientation. Bi+ people may form relationships that don’t follow traditional norms.

Using terms like bi+ is a great way to acknowledge the full spectrum of bisexuality, including attraction to non-binary individuals. It’s an umbrella term that encompasses all people who feel attracted to more than one gender, and it fosters a more inclusive, supportive environment for everyone.

Support Them in Their Relationships

Bisexual people often face unique challenges in their relationships, such as the fear of invalidations or the misunderstanding of their sexuality. Whether they’re in a relationship with someone of the same gender or a different gender, they may encounter people questioning their orientation or doubting the validity of their identity.

As an ally, it’s important to validate their relationships and emotions. If they express concerns about biphobia or feeling unsupported, be a listening ear and offer your solidarity. Unconditional support can help them feel more secure and confident in their relationships, and let them know they don’t have to face the challenges alone.

Educate Yourself

An informed ally is a strong ally. One of the best ways to support bisexual people is by educating yourself about bisexuality. Learn about the challenges bisexual people face, the history of bisexuality, and the types of resources available to support the community. The more you understand, the better equipped you’ll be to advocate for bisexual people and make them feel seen and heard.

There are many great online resources, books, and documentaries that explore bisexuality. Organizations like the Bisexual Resource Center (BRC) and Bisexual Alliance offer valuable tools and advocacy that can deepen your understanding and enhance your ability to support bisexual individuals in your life.

Be an Advocate

Being a supportive ally goes beyond individual interactions - it’s about advocating for visibility and rights on a larger scale. This includes speaking out for bisexual representation in media, workplaces, politics, and healthcare, and pushing for policies that protect bisexual people from discrimination.

You can advocate by supporting bisexual-inclusive organizations, participating in Pride events, and using your voice to amplify the experiences of bisexual people. Every action you take to raise awareness, whether big or small, helps contribute to a world where bisexual people are seen, understood, and treated with the respect they deserve.

By actively supporting bisexual individuals and engaging in these practical steps, you not only help create a more inclusive and accepting environment, but you also contribute to a larger movement of equality and love for people of all sexual orientations. Your role as an ally is essential in making the world a more just place for everyone, regardless of who they love or how they identify.

Addressing Common Myths and Misunderstandings

As an ally to bisexual individuals, you may encounter various myths or misunderstandings about bisexuality. These misconceptions can lead to harmful stereotypes and reinforce stigma. By debunking these myths, you can better understand the experiences of bisexual people and advocate for their validity. Here are some of the most common myths and the truths behind them:

Myth 1: Bisexuality is Just a Phase

Reality: Bisexuality is a valid, enduring sexual orientation. For many bisexual people, attraction to more than one gender is a lifelong experience. While society may sometimes dismiss bisexuality as a temporary or "experimental" phase, this is a misunderstanding that invalidates the experiences of bisexual individuals. It’s important to recognize that bisexual people can be attracted to both men and women, or to non-binary individuals, at any point in their lives. Their orientation is not fleeting - it is a fundamental part of who they are.

Myth 2: Bisexual People Are Just “Confused”

Reality: Bisexuality is not about confusion or indecision; it is a legitimate and real sexual orientation. People who are bisexual have the capacity to experience attraction to more than one gender. Being bisexual does not mean a person is unsure of their feelings or uncertain about their identity - it means they are attracted to multiple genders, just as a heterosexual person is attracted to the opposite gender, or a homosexual person is attracted to the same gender. Reducing bisexuality to confusion undermines the validity of bisexual identities and experiences.

Myth 3: Bisexual People Are More Likely to Cheat

Reality: The idea that bisexual people are more likely to cheat in relationships is a harmful and unfounded stereotype. Like anyone else, bisexual individuals are capable of being faithful or unfaithful. The belief that bisexual people are inherently promiscuous stems from a misrepresentation of bisexuality and is not reflective of bisexual people's true relationships. A person’s sexual orientation does not determine their relationship values or their ability to remain committed. It’s important to challenge this stereotype and promote understanding that bisexuality is not linked to unfaithfulness.

Myth 4: Bisexuality Doesn’t Exist in Heterosexual Relationships

Reality: A bisexual person’s sexual orientation remains valid regardless of the gender of their partner. It’s a common misconception that being in a heterosexual relationship invalidates a bisexual person's identity. Bisexual people can be attracted to both genders (or more than two) but may choose to be in a relationship with a partner of any gender. Just because a bisexual person is in a heterosexual relationship doesn’t mean their bisexuality is any less valid. Their attraction to multiple genders is still a core part of their identity, even if their partner happens to be of a different gender.

Why It’s Important to Challenge These Myths

Understanding the truth behind these myths is essential to being an effective ally to bisexual people. Bisexual individuals often face stigma and misunderstanding, not just from those outside the LGBTQIA+ community, but sometimes from within it as well. By debunking these myths and confronting the harmful stereotypes surrounding bisexuality, you can help create a world that is more inclusive, accepting, and affirming for everyone, regardless of their sexual orientation.

By being an ally who challenges these misconceptions, you not only support bisexual people but also help dismantle the barriers that contribute to discrimination and erasure. Bisexuality is just as valid as any other sexual orientation, and it’s time we all recognize and respect that truth.

Allyship Is Ongoing

Being an ally to bisexual people is an ongoing journey of learning, listening, and advocating for their rights. It’s not about checking off a box or showing support only when it’s convenient - it’s about actively standing with bisexual individuals, even when the conversation feels uncomfortable or difficult. By challenging harmful stereotypes and misconceptions, you are helping to build a more inclusive world, one where bisexual voices are heard and respected.

Allyship means showing up consistently for bisexual people - not just during Pride or special moments, but day in and day out, in your words, actions, and advocacy. It’s about standing up for their dignity, rights, and identity, regardless of external pressures or social narratives.

Whether you’re educating yourself, challenging biphobia, or offering unwavering support, being a good ally goes beyond a single action. It means uplifting bisexual voices and ensuring that society is a place where everyone, no matter their sexual orientation, can live authentically, without fear of judgment, and in a space where they are truly valued for who they are.