Understanding Masking: The Impact of Masking on Neurodiverse LGBTQIA+ People

As awareness of neurodiversity grows, so does our understanding of the unique challenges faced by neurodivergent individuals. However, one issue that remains largely overlooked is masking - the practice of suppressing natural behaviors, traits, or ways of thinking to fit into societal norms. For many neurodivergent people, masking is an exhausting but often necessary survival strategy in a world that frequently misunderstands or fails to accommodate their differences.

For LGBTQIA+ neurodivergent individuals, the pressure to mask can be even greater. They may feel compelled to hide not only their neurodivergence but also aspects of their gender identity or sexual orientation in order to avoid judgment, discrimination, or exclusion. This constant need to conform can take a significant toll on mental health, self-esteem, and overall well-being.

During Neurodiversity Celebration Week, it's important to shine a light on the intersection of neurodivergence and LGBTQIA+ identities. In this blog, we will explore what masking is, why so many LGBTQIA+ neurodivergent individuals engage in it, and how we can foster more inclusive and affirming spaces where people feel safe to be their authentic selves - without fear of rejection or misunderstanding.

What is Masking?

Masking refers to the act of concealing or suppressing one’s natural behaviors, thoughts, and emotions in order to conform to societal norms or expectations. For neurodivergent individuals - such as those with autism, ADHD, or other cognitive differences - this often means deliberately hiding traits that may be perceived as "different" or "unusual." This can involve mimicking social cues, forcing eye contact, controlling body language, suppressing stimming behaviors, or carefully scripting conversations to avoid standing out.

For LGBTQIA+ individuals who are also neurodivergent, masking can become even more complex. Many feel the need to suppress both their neurodivergent traits and their sexual orientation or gender identity in order to avoid discrimination, misunderstanding, or rejection. The pressure to "fit in" or "pass" as neurotypical and cisgender/heterosexual can be overwhelming, leading to chronic stress, anxiety, and identity suppression.

Masking may help neurodivergent LGBTQIA+ individuals navigate a world that isn’t always accepting, but it often comes at a cost - exhaustion, burnout, and a deep disconnection from one’s authentic self. Understanding this experience is the first step in fostering more inclusive, affirming spaces where people don’t have to hide who they are in order to be accepted.

The Impact of Masking on Neurodiverse LGBTQIA+ Individuals

Psychological and Emotional Toll

The act of masking can have a profound and lasting impact on a neurodiverse LGBTQIA+ person’s mental health. While masking may help individuals navigate social spaces and avoid negative attention in the short term, it often leads to long-term psychological distress.

This includes:

• Burnout: Constantly pretending to be someone you're not is mentally and physically exhausting. The more a person masks, the more energy they expend, which can result in emotional and physical burnout. This condition is often referred to as "masking fatigue," and can manifest as overwhelming feelings of depression, anxiety, and a sense of isolation from one’s true self.

• Imposter Syndrome: Neurodiverse LGBTQIA+ individuals may experience a sense of disconnection from their authentic identity, leading to feelings of inadequacy or fraudulence. This can cause them to feel like they are pretending to be someone they are not, fostering self-doubt, internalized shame, and a lack of self-acceptance.

• Increased Anxiety and Stress: Masking requires individuals to be constantly vigilant and self-monitoring, leading to heightened levels of anxiety. The constant fear of being “found out” or “exposed” creates a pervasive sense of stress that can negatively affect their mental and physical health.

Social Isolation

Masking can create significant barriers to connection and community for neurodiverse LGBTQIA+ individuals, contributing to:

• Superficial Relationships: Since they are not presenting their true selves, neurodiverse LGBTQIA+ individuals may struggle to form deep, authentic relationships. They might feel as if they are living a double life, which fosters feelings of loneliness, alienation, and isolation.

• Difficulty Finding Community: The inability to express one’s authentic self can make it harder to find inclusive spaces where individuals truly understand and accept them. This is especially true for neurodiverse LGBTQIA+ individuals, who may feel excluded from both neurotypical and LGBTQIA+ spaces if they feel pressured to mask in order to “fit in.”

Challenges in Expressing Gender and Sexuality

Masking can have particularly damaging effects on a neurodiverse LGBTQIA+ person’s ability to express their gender and sexual identities authentically.

These challenges include:

• Gender Identity Masking: Transgender and non-binary individuals may feel compelled to mask their true gender identity to avoid discrimination, rejection, or violence. They may use gendered pronouns or present themselves in a way that aligns with societal expectations of their assigned sex at birth, even if this does not reflect their true identity. This internal conflict can delay their transition or create a deep sense of discomfort and identity conflict.

• Sexual Orientation Masking: Neurodiverse LGBTQIA+ individuals may feel compelled to mask their sexual orientation to avoid discrimination, bullying, or rejection. For example, a bisexual or pansexual person may feel pressured to present themselves as heterosexual, suppress attraction to certain genders, or hide their romantic preferences in order to “fit in” or avoid unwanted attention.

The Consequences of Masking on Mental Health

Masking can have severe and lasting effects on the mental health of neurodiverse LGBTQIA+ individuals. These individuals face the unique challenge of navigating societal stigma and discrimination related to both their neurodivergence and their sexual or gender identity.

The toll this takes on mental health can manifest in several ways:

Depression and Anxiety

The long-term effects of constantly suppressing one's true self can significantly contribute to chronic anxiety, depression, and other mental health disorders. The pressure of having to maintain a mask - concealing one's authentic identity - can lead individuals to feel disconnected, not just from others, but from their own sense of self. The emotional exhaustion of constantly "performing" as someone they are not can erode mental well-being, leading to deep feelings of emptiness and hopelessness.

Self-Esteem Issues

Masking often undermines an individual's sense of self-worth and self-acceptance. When someone feels they need to pretend to be someone they are not, it can lead to feelings of inadequacy. They may struggle with the belief that their true self is unacceptable, unlovable, or "wrong." This creates a cycle of negative self-esteem and self-doubt, making it difficult to truly embrace and love oneself. As a result, neurodiverse LGBTQIA+ individuals may find it harder to feel comfortable in their own skin, perpetuating feelings of unworthiness.

Suicidal Ideation and Self-Harm

In severe cases, the emotional and psychological strain of masking can lead to suicidal ideation or self-harm. The intense isolation, coupled with a sense of rejection and alienation from others, can push individuals into a dark place. Research shows that both LGBTQIA+ individuals and neurodivergent people are at a higher risk for suicide and self-harm - and masking only amplifies this risk. The internalized pressure to conform to societal expectations, combined with the toll of hiding one’s true identity, can leave individuals feeling as though they have no other way to cope.

How to Support Neurodiverse LGBTQIA+ People in Reducing Masking

Creating Inclusive Spaces

The first step in helping neurodiverse LGBTQIA+ individuals reduce the need to mask is by creating inclusive, welcoming environments where they feel safe, supported, and validated. This involves:

Accepting All Identities: Spaces should be open and affirming of all neurodivergent and LGBTQIA+ identities. Whether someone identifies as autistic, has ADHD, or identifies as transgender or queer, they should feel empowered to express their true selves without fear of judgment or rejection. Creating an environment where all identities are respected helps foster a sense of belonging.

Non-Judgmental Communication: Encouraging open, honest communication within communities allows individuals to express their needs, challenges, and experiences. Neurodiverse LGBTQIA+ individuals need spaces where they can speak freely about their experiences without the fear of being misunderstood, invalidated, or shamed. This kind of non-judgmental dialogue can be transformative in helping individuals feel more comfortable embracing their authentic selves.

Celebrating Neurodiversity: Embrace and celebrate neurodiversity in your community. This means recognizing that different ways of thinking and being are valuable, not inferior. Offering training for organizations, schools, and communities about neurodivergence and LGBTQIA+ identities can help challenge stereotypes and foster an environment where all individuals feel seen and understood.

Encouraging Authenticity

Supporting neurodiverse LGBTQIA+ individuals in embracing their authentic selves is crucial. There are several ways we can help reduce the need for masking and empower individuals to live openly and confidently:

Therapeutic Support: Therapy can provide a safe space for neurodiverse LGBTQIA+ individuals to explore their identity, reduce masking behaviors, and work through feelings of isolation, shame, or anxiety. Mental health professionals who specialize in both neurodivergence and LGBTQIA+ issues can be incredibly helpful in guiding individuals to navigate their identities in healthy, affirming ways. Therapy also creates an opportunity to build self-compassion and acceptance.

Peer Support Networks: Connecting neurodiverse LGBTQIA+ individuals with others who share similar experiences can be empowering. Whether through online support groups, local LGBTQIA+ centers, or neurodiversity networks, these spaces allow individuals to find solidarity, share coping strategies, and build meaningful relationships with others who understand their experiences. Peer support groups can offer a sense of belonging, making it easier for individuals to stop masking and start embracing who they truly are.

Promoting Mental Health Awareness

It is essential to promote mental health awareness and reduce the stigma around mental health struggles, especially within the neurodivergent and LGBTQIA+ communities. Educating individuals about the emotional and psychological impact of masking can normalize seeking help and prioritizing mental well-being. By sharing resources, discussing the challenges of masking openly, and fostering an environment where mental health is valued, we can help individuals feel more comfortable seeking support and taking care of their emotional health.

Moving Toward a Future of Authenticity and Acceptance

Masking may have once been a necessary coping mechanism for neurodiverse LGBTQIA+ individuals living in a world that often values conformity over individuality. However, it’s crucial that we work toward a future where authenticity is not only accepted but celebrated. By creating inclusive, affirming spaces, prioritizing mental health, and embracing both neurodiversity and LGBTQIA+ identities, we can help reduce the emotional and psychological burden of masking.

As we continue to build a more inclusive society, it’s important that we acknowledge the unique and complex experiences of neurodiverse LGBTQIA+ individuals. This includes recognizing the challenges they face daily and working toward creating a world where they can fully express themselves without fear of judgment or rejection. Through acceptance, support, and education, we can cultivate a future where people no longer feel the need to mask, but instead can fully embrace and express their true selves.

A Commitment to Authenticity and Support

Masking can have a profound impact on the mental, emotional, and social well-being of neurodiverse LGBTQIA+ individuals. By better understanding the challenges faced by this community and making intentional efforts to create inclusive spaces, we can help reduce the need for masking. Empowering neurodiverse LGBTQIA+ individuals to live authentically is essential to building a more inclusive and accepting society - one that values individuality and encourages every person to show up as their true, unmasked selves. Let’s continue to support and uplift these individuals, helping them to thrive as their full, authentic selves.